Is it your first time? Mine too.
No, not really. But I understand and remember all the anxiety and questions that came along with my own first time. And I want to make it easy for you.
Have a seat. Let’s talk about what’s weighing on you.
Everyone has different concerns and different amounts of self-consciousness to overcome. Are you worried about your first time, ever? Your first time with an escort? Perhaps you’ve read one too many escort stories or accidentally waded into a reddit sexworkers group, and now you don’t know what to believe.
What we’ll talk about here is different from the etiquette of hiring an escort, and more nuanced than the general frequently asked questions about escort experiences. But you should digest those ideas too, when you have the time.
Take the time that you need. I believe this is a process that shouldn’t be rushed or jumped into lightly.
There are any number of reasons why someone would employ an escort, and so many of them are miles from the stereotypes we’ve been led to believe are common. Some people are exploring ideas and experiences that may not traditionally jive with heteronormative culture, but want to do so in a manner they control and with the utmost discretion.
Some are working to overcome past experiences of lost consent or lost control, and an escort can be a way to find connection while holding the stop/go powers entirely. People who have achieved some degree of notoriety are often subject to a lifelong scrutiny most of us can never imagine, and may feel trapped by their perceived success. Some are coping with situational issues that may engender sadness or loneliness. Loneliness is a wildly misunderstood and stigmatized emotional response which afflicts nearly everyone at some point in their life.
In my experience, escort first time -rs worry most about these two things:
- What if he doesn’t like me?
Meaning, what if I am rejected? Or what if the chemistry isn’t right? Or what if there is something about me that is unacceptable to him?
These are big and powerful ideas. But they are fears that everyone has, both in paid companionship situations and in their everyday lives. Experience is the only way they are overcome. But information helps a lot.
- What if I don’t like him?
Meaning, what do I do if a situation just doesn’t work right?
This is another one where experience is the only thing that truly breeds confidence. But it can be helpful to remember that you are in charge and nothing should happen without your consent.
These are deep and primal worries which can ignite equally primal fight or flight responses, just from thinking seriously about them. Acceptance and rejection are key to our evolutionary survival. Our lizard brains aren’t wired for nuanced understanding, and it can be tough to meaningfully overcome deep fears of losing control, being viewed negatively by someone, or potential rejection.
These questions can help allay some practical worries, and you may find they ease some of your concern about the 2 big questions as well:
Read the full list of frequently asked questions here.
How to make plans
Not sure where to begin, but know you’re ready for more?
Before getting hopes high, be sure to read about me, and my upcoming schedule. That way you’ll have a better idea of how we might get along, and whether I’ll be nearby on the dates you had in mind.
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