2018 UPDATE: Due to recent changes in US federal law, unsecure communications will not be accepted. Please read below and reach out via an encrypted channel:
One of the best parts about what I do is getting to skip over a lot of hoop-jumping nonsense and get right to the good stuff. It’s amazing getting to share intimate thoughts and feelings with someone straight away without the days, weeks, months or years of trust building work that goes into so many relationships.
One of the hardest things is keeping that immediate intimacy private. I work very hard to make sure that what we do and say stays just between you and I. But I can’t do it all by myself. This page will explain a little more about what I do to ensure that my secrets stay secret, and what you can do to keep yourself safe.
The first thing you should know about is a process called encryption. The surface definition is “the translation of data into a secret code. Encryption is the most effective way to achieve data security. To read an encrypted file, you must have access to a secret key or password that enables you to decrypt it.” It’s certainly much more complicated than that, but that’s the outline of what happens between my computer (or phone) and yours.
The site you’re reading this on now is encrypted and uses a security certificate (the same way Amazon or any site you’d give sensitive information to ought to be) to ensure that any information passed between the site and your computer (in either direction) is encrypted and unreadable by any third party who might try to pry. You can always check to see if you’re on a secure site by looking for the green padlock symbol in the browser window.
In addition, this site is hosted by a company in Switzerland that is extremely reputable for their security and defense of the rights of individuals to maintain their personal privacy. That’s important to me, perhaps more than to you.
Most email is reasonably secure and only someone with the password would be able to access the messages in an average account. But encrypted email ensures that even someone with the password would also need the encryption key to be able to decipher any of the messages. My email is powered by a service called ProtonMail, which is also a Swiss company that deals only in super-secure email hosting. You can read about how their service works here.
I work only on an encrypted laptop and I do not save communications to my hard drive. If someone were to obtain that laptop, aside from being unable to access or read any of the files, they would only be in possession of the programs and graphic files I used to build this site. There’s no backlog of emails, or a “little black book” of contacts that might one day spill out into the world, should my computer be compromised.
I have a private, unshared internet connection at home, and any work I do on this site, or any communications I have via my laptop or my phone, occur over a VPN, or a “virtual private network.” Meaning that even if someone were trying to track what I do and say online, they would be unable to do so without being physically next to me and reading over my shoulder (I live alone, so you’re safe – I promise). This video explains how VPNs work, without all the technical jargon. Suffice it to say, I try to leave as few fingerprints as possible wherever I go.
I use an encrypted android phone that can be turned off remotely or permanently bricked if necessary. If it is ever out of my possession, I can still track it, shut it down, or stop it from ever working again. This phone operates over the same VPN as my computer, regardless of where I am in the world.
I don’t save any contacts or names on this device, so you’ll forgive me if sometimes I need to ask who you are, even if we’ve interacted before. My brain can remember a lot of numbers, but not always right away. I promise you won’t be forgotten, even if your phone number is (momentarily).
The phone number that I give out is a google voice number that is associated with my google account. I use the google voice app to monitor incoming calls, voicemails, and text messages. I will not be able to make plans or discuss any details via text, and will strongly and immediately encourage you to move to an encrypted platform, if you contact me this way.
I like the Telegram app a lot and it functions exactly the same way as most text message or chats that people are accustomed to. There’s no new interface to learn or new features to sign up for. The key difference is that Telegram offers a function called “secret chat” that is encrypted on both sides (my phone and yours – not able to be intercepted by any third parties) and does not store messages on any server or computer in the middle. Additionally, messages can be set to self destruct, leaving no trace of the sender or what was said. It’s a safer way to talk details, and share intimate information or photos.
I make every effort to maintain my privacy and extend that as far as I can to you. But an encrypted email sent to an unencrypted inbox (say, my email to your AOL or gmail account) is only half secure as it could be. Meaning, if a hacker got ahold of my password, they still wouldn’t be able to retrieve anything, but someone with your password might. Here’s what you can do:
1. Make a private email account: If you have any communications you want to stay private, I highly recommend that you create a personal ProtonMail account and use only that when you want to interact without worrying about who might see it. It’s free and fast and works just like yahoo or gmail. There are so many stories about people who are careless about using work addresses or unsecure email getting hacked (or being exposed by their own IT staff) and ending up on the front of the NY Post. Be smarter about how you engage.
Messages between Proton accounts (for instance, yours to mine) are entirely encrypted and not subject to any third party interception. Without top secret, Get Smart-style government technology, that’s as safe as email gets.
2. Download Telegram: If we connect via text or phone, the first thing I’m going to request is that you switch to Telegram. I know the hassle of creating yet another account, but, end-to-end this process takes less than 90 seconds, is FREE, and might be a lifesaver. You don’t need to give any information other than a cell phone number to receive a quick verification code.
Telegram doesn’t care about or want to know your legal name, your home address, your credit card numbers, or connect to other accounts (some apps try to connect to facebook or twitter – Telegram will not). Once you’re set up, just search for “tylerthebadwolf” to message me, free, from anywhere in the world. They also (unlike WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger) do not track your phone using location services.
You can think of it as a special direct-to-me way to message me, just for us. It’s a way to be sure you’re definitely dealing with me, and not an impostor using my number or holding my phone. And to be sure that I’m definitely getting your messages (no more lost or missed texts).
3. NEVER contact anyone with your work email or work phone: Those are both property of the company you work for, and that company is free and clear to look through your communications for the duration of your employment for any or no reason at all. You have no claim to privacy on a work account or device. Just don’t do it.
4. Stop texting about personal or sensitive topics, immediately: There is an old saying: “Dance like no one is watching. Email (or text) like it may one day be read aloud in a deposition.” Because of our personal comfort with our devices, and being able to secure those devices with a fingerprint scan or a password, we often presume no one has access to our communications but us. You should know, though, texts are stored by Apple (if you use iMessage), and by your service provider, for as long (potentially indefinitely) as they see fit. There is no “deleting” with texts/SMS. Even if you destroy the phone itself.
This might all sound like paranoia or even overkill, but after some of the high profile cases in the news the last few years, the lesson is that it’s better to be safe than sorry. I love my work so much that I go to great pains and personal expense to make sure that what I do stays my own business. The people I meet deserve the same consideration.
I also want to assure you that despite relatively large social followings on twitter and instagram, and the hugely sexual nature of my personal blog, you won’t find any mention (ever) of clients, dates, or even coded descriptions of what I get up to. Those outlets are just a way for me to offer up some of myself – the music I like, the porn I jack off to, the stuff I think about – to you, so that you can know me a little better. It won’t ever be a place I expose anyone or reveal details about who I know and what they like.
My secrets stay secret.
Why can't I use GMail? AOL? Yahoo?
There are a couple of distinct issues with these services, but the two we’re worried about here are:
Encryption | These services are not capable of encrypting messages from end to end, sender to receiver. It is possible (and not as difficult as you might think) for messages to be intercepted, since these platforms send and receive them in cleartext (meaning, with zero encryption).
Surveillance | Yahoo scanned and shared 100% of messages sent and received on that platform with the NSA for years without disclosing this fact to users, only finally admitting to the practice when they had been caught. That other email providers have not condemned this practice or denied their own participation means that they likely are participating in similar activities and bound from public disclosure by court order.
Any US-based email provider is going to be acting at the behest of the US government, and subject to orders for disclosure or surveillance. Do not discuss any personal or sensitive information in AOL, GMail, Yahoo, etc. Stop using these accounts for personal matters immediately.
Why can't I text you?
The ubiquity of texting today, combined with the ability to lock or protect our individual devices creates an illusion of security or privacy that is unrealistic in the harsh light of day.
Text messages (SMS/Green Bubbles on iOS) are stored on 1. your device, 2. the device(s) of anyone who receives them 3. and the server(s) of your service provider (Verizon/AT&T/etc.) ad infinitum. There is no deleting, no erasing, and no undoing. A record of everything you have ever said or sent exists somewhere, even if you’ve “deleted” it on your device. You do not have access to this information.
iMessage (Blue Bubbles on iOS) features the same problems, but with Apple servers storing tons more metadata about your device, your behaviors, and exact locations when you send and receive messages. Messages are encrypted between iOS users, but still cannot be deleted or removed later.
What about WhatsApp?
In principal, WhatsApp is great. It is a secure, well designed app featuring end to end encryption.
But it is owned and maintained entirely by Facebook, who refuses to disclose how they operate it, what data is stored and retained, and how closely linked WhatsApp users are with their Facebook accounts.
If you have a private life that you share with close friends and family on Facebook, would you want potentially troublesome online dealings directly associated with that Facebook profile?
Can we talk explicitly?
In person, we can discuss whatever needs discussing, no holds barred.
But please do not text me or email me explicit messages, photos, or videos. These messages are removed immediately without reply.
Why are you so paranoid?
I take what I do very seriously. I make every possibly effort to keep my communications with you and with others as private as they possibly can be.
While one may view themselves as having “nothing to hide” or being “an open book,” it is significant to remember that communication is (almost literally) a two-way street. What someone says and does affects me, and by proxy, potentially affects others.
If we are all working to keep our comms secure, we keep everyone safer. Remember in this case that it’s not just about you. I’m asking you to help keep me safe.
See the sun rise and set and rise again, from the comfort of my arms. A full day together to spend any way we choose; the possibilities are nearly limitless.
Who says the fun has to stop? Additional Day bookings must be contiguous with either an Overnight or full Day booking, but offer a deeply discounted extension of an already brilliant time together. Please ask about discounts on longer extensions of our time.
I’m glad to reserve a space for us to meet, and ask only that you add an additional 200 (240 CAD) per evening to any package longer than One Hour (Regrettably, I’m unable to play host for single hour appointments). I will handle reservations and payment – all you needto do is arrive on time.
It can be totally intimidating to meet someone for the first time. It's often a complete gamble of chemistry and comfort. Sometimes it can be a stress reliever to know that it’s ‘just dinner’ and that there’s no pressure or reason for anxiety. I’m a firm believer that one can sense chemistry through conversation. Let’s get a bite and see how we click before an investment in a longer session.
My most favorite package. No rushing, nothing forced. I'm terrible at sharing with others; the idea that you’ll be all mine all night is such a turn on. And while I usually do need to sleep a realistic amount, the gift of waking up in the morning in a big, comfy bed with someone who’s ready for more is absolutely magical.
In an evening we can talk and truly get to know one another. That affords us time to lead into other activities at a natural, organic clip. I love getting to know about what gets you going while we’re both still dressed and civilized. Especially in public –there’s nothing hotter than the social restraints of being in mixed company.
I’m more than happy to swing by your private office, hotel, or home for some more focused time than my other experiences may offer (doesn’t even have to be during lunchtime! But think how clever you’ll sound declining another invitation because you have a lunch meeting with me).
If all we’ve got is an hour together, let’s make the most of it. I know someone like you is exceptionally busy, and might not have more time to devote just yet. We'll get there.