The most frequently asked questions of gay and straight male escorts
This is far from a complete list, but you’ll find all the hits here, as well as some personal insight about my own practices and beliefs. These questions appear elsewhere on the site, and you can find related information by visiting the pages linked in each.
Have a question I haven’t answered in the FAQ? I’d love to know more and you can safely contact me about your question here.
FAQ
A male escort (gay or straight) is a male-identified person who offers their time and attention for a set rate. Sometimes these men are adult entertainers, gay or straight pornstars, or other professional individuals with a capacity for connection and intimacy who happen to enjoy meeting a variety of new and interesting people. There is no one single idea of what a male escort is or should be.
This question originally appeared on the home page.
You can’t! Escorts providing time and companionship services are as varied as the people who hire them. Beyond the structure of the job (an hourly or set rate for time and attendance), gay, straight, and bisexual men who work as male escorts run the gamut from fit to fat, old to young, and any other demographic details you can imagine.
This question originally appeared on the home page.
Over the last decade, sex workers and escorts have lost access to many of the services and systems that allow them to advertise and work safely. With Rentboy shut down in 2015, the backup choice for many gay escorts was Rentmen. While it has continued to exist, many users report fewer views and connections there compared to Rentboy.
Rent.men is a legitimate site, though I strongly encourage users to keep their private communications away from the internal RM messaging system in favor of encrypted, off-site messengers.
This question originally appeared on the home page.
Almost certainly yes. A great way to start is by searching for what you’re looking for, combined with the largest metro area nearby. For example you could search “boyfriend experience in New York,” “escort männer Berlin,” or “pornstar escort in Tampa.” The first few results are likely to be sites like Rentmen, Mintboys, or Hunqz, and those links will direct you to escorts advertising nearby.
It’s also easier than you think to arrange to bring a favorite to you for a visit, or plan a trip with them somewhere special.
This question originally appeared on the home page.
While it’s hard to easily describe what a male escort is, one crucial component should be that they are discreet. It should not be a challenge to make plans with a male escort/gigolo without telling the world, and any professional escort worth their salt will take your request for privacy very seriously. If you are concerned about privacy or keeping secrets secret, I encourage you to check out my personal security measures, and some infosec best practices for everyone.
This question originally appeared on the home page.
Just like lawyers and dentists, male escort rates can vary widely by the part of the world in which they work, and even the city where they live. Contrary to assumptions, escorts often charge higher rates the longer they’ve been in the business successfully – just like any professional.
This question originally appeared on the escort rates page.
If you’re ready to go all in and spend the day with a gay escort (or a straight male escort!) there’s lots of ways to spend the time – and they better they are at their work, the less you’ll worry about staying busy or passing the hours. Many providers will have a day rate (rather than an escort per hour situation), which is designed to save over booking them for many consecutive hours. Always ask if they don’t have a day rate posted. You might be surprised at what a better deal it is.
This question originally appeared on the escort rates page.
Generally the answer is yes. But there are lots of ways different individuals handle their businesses. One thing to avoid is bartering or bargaining for anything other than time. A professional escort (or gigolo) will only ever charge for their time and attention, and that rate won’t fluctuate based on what transpires during that time.
This question originally appeared on the escort rates page.
Just like an hourly rate, an overnight appointment rate for a companion can fluctuate based on geography and how long that person has been in business. The better they are at their work, the higher their rates will frequently be. Factor it in as a boyfriend cost (you’re saving a bundle over the real thing, after all)!
This question originally appeared on the escort rates page.
As much as they say to pay them. One key rule of engaging with any sex worker (male or female) is that the rates are as stated, and should not be haggled or negotiated. Haggling creates situations where both parties may feel they are potentially getting got. If a male escort has rates that seem unreasonable, just move on. There’s lots of other mintboys in the sea.
This question originally appeared on the escort rates page.
They are not. I find discussing money to be rather uncouth, and a great deal of time and thought has been put into the value ascribed to what I have to offer.
The one thing I can promise you is that once we’re together, my rate will be the last thing you have any time to think about.
This question originally appeared on the escort rates page.
I will never initiate contact with you. I don’t have many unbending rules, but the ones I maintain are designed to protect both our privacy. I do not find it appropriate for service providers of any kind to proactively contact without you being in complete control over it. That isn’t how professional services work (imagine an attorney cold calling you to find out if perhaps you wanted to sue anybody this week).
It is impossible for me to know if your personal situation has changed, or who might be looking over your shoulder at just the wrong moment. For discretion’s sake, you will always need to initiate contact if you want to be in touch. The one exception here is my email list, the subscription to which you always control completely. You may subscribe or unsubscribe at any time, anonymously and without question.
This question originally appeared on the escort contact page.
There are any number of answers to this question, but it’s important to try not to take it personally. Often times, very successful male escorts may be too busy to reply at a pace you think is appropriate. They may also be dealing with real life while you are waiting and simply don’t have the bandwidth to engage cordially right now.
If you are certain there has been a problem or error, I suggest trying one alternative private contact point (if you’ve sent an email, drop a quick note on Wire or Signal), simply stating you’re very interested in meeting, but haven’t yet received a reply. Always be polite. Never do it on social media. Always assume that it has nothing to do with you personally.
This question originally appeared on the escort contact page.
It is very rare that you will encounter an escort ad or an escort website that will not say directly how to be in touch. If you have to struggle to find the best method of communication, it’s a sign that something might be amiss.
Reliable professional male and female escorts try to streamline this as much as possible, and will direct you to the best contact point.
No matter what: if an escort says “please contact me here/this way,” follow their instructions. It is very likely they are there for a reason.
This question originally appeared on the escort contact page.
It is largely quite safe to hire escorts or companions from sites like Rentmen, Friendboy.pro, or Mintboys. Use your common sense and do some research before making any big jumps.
It is absolutely not safe to use internal message services like RM Messenger. Messages exchanged there are immediately and forever the property of whatever website you are using, and may easily be turned over to authorities with a reasonable law enforcement request. Internal message systems are often not encrypted, meaning anyone with access to the workings or backend of the website could view any messages ever sent.
If you have communicated this way in the past, I suggest fully deleting the account used, and creating a new one with a different email address and username. This will not remove previous messages—this is not possible—but it will stop you making a bad situation worse.
This question originally appeared on the escort contact page.
I believe that you do. I also think that anyone who takes their work seriously will not be offended to accommodate a request like this for both your safety. If a male escort insists on using regular SMS texting, WhatsApp, or Direct Messages on Instagram or Twitter, it might be a sign that they aren’t ready to respect the needs of important clients in a real way. Tread carefully.
This question originally appeared on the escort contact page.
I do not.
Where once it was commonplace to list a phone number in escort advertising, and even to research the reviews and experiences of an escort by searching that phone number, times have very much changed. Traditional phone calling and texting are a liability for even the most basic personal communications.
Signal, Wire, and Telegram each offer a host of features designed to mimic the calling and texting experience, while incorporating end to end encryption designed to keep you safe. Our privacy—yours and mine—is worth more now than ever before. Let’s protect it.
Read more about how to keep us both safe.
This question originally appeared on the escort contact page.
My name is Tyler Dårlig Ulv. Tyler comes from the Middle English Tyler or Tylor and features some fascinating numerology (if that’s your thing).
Dårlig Ulv (dar-lihg-ULF) literally translates from Norwegian as “Bad Wolf.” So, Tyler the Bad Wolf.
This question originally appeared on the about Tyler page.
Most definitely. All of my photos are arranged and dated accurately. I’m a tricky model (I don’t do ‘faking it for the camera‘ very well) so I never feel like photos really capture me. Luckily I’m often told that my escort photos don’t do me justice and I’m reasonably sure that you’ll be pleased with my appearance in person. Subscribe to my email list to be notified whenever I’ve got new images up.
You can also see me on Twitter and Instagram with some regularity. My personality shines through a bit better there sometimes.
You might note that I’m always “Verified” on any male escort sites or escort directories on which I appear. That means male escort sites like Tryst or Rentmen have verified that my profiles only contain photos of me, and that those photos accurately represent me. See all of my Verified escort photos here.
This question originally appeared on the about Tyler page.
I work for myself as a freelance writer and consultant, but my schedule can still be very tricky. Advanced appointments and planning are the very best way to make sure we can meet up. I hate saying no to same-day requests, but this is often necessary. Even just 24 hours notice sometimes can make all the difference! Check out my calendar before you contact me.
This question originally appeared on the about Tyler page.
Wow! Ok! Thank you in advance! I don’t keep my Amazon Wishlist very well these days. But I have a gifting guide on my blog which takes from lots of sources and tries to focus on indie creators and smaller businesses wherever possible.
While they’re unsexy to some degree, amazon.de gift cards are imminently practical and endlessly appreciated; they make my day-to-day life a little nicer.
I also have a perpetual boner for Bleu de Chanel, Molton Brown (especially the Black Pepper family), and The Ordinary skincare line. Items and gift cards to those brands serve the purpose of getting me things I really want, as well as giving me a reason to think of you when I’m in the shower.
But more than anything, I love the connection inspired by thoughtful gifts. I never swoon harder than when someone has dug deep into everything I say and present here to come up with a token of their affection that speaks both to me and to us together.
This question originally appeared on the about Tyler page.
I enjoy it more than I can explain in this little box. This work has brought me to people and experiences I would never have found on my own. I am intensely grateful that I get to share such powerful and exceptional intimacy with such charming and sophisticated people. I believe I have found my calling – what I was made for.
This question originally appeared on the about Tyler page.
I am not a picky eater at all, although my stomach tends to disagree with this sentiment on occasion. Any cuisine that seems like it would be low in carbohydrates and high in protein is a perfect fallback. But there’s nothing I love more than getting to share food that is special to someone else. Take me to your favorite spot and show me what’s amazing there. A charged and exciting experience together has the power to make any meal phenomenal.
This question originally appeared on the about Tyler page.
As a male escort I’ve been sober for several years now, so I’m strictly a seltzer man (occasionally a Roy Rogers if it’s a special occasion). But that should never dictate what you enjoy and it would spoil my time with you if I knew you were abstaining simply because I choose to.
This question originally appeared on the about Tyler page.
When I am at home in Berlin, I do not offer incall or hosting services. This is for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is not needing to keep my place guest-ready. My privacy and safety are precious to me, and keeping things quiet at home is a way to extend respect and keep things friendly with my neighbors as well.
When I travel, or am anywhere but Berlin, I strive to find discreet and comfortable accommodations. I’m glad to receive you as a guest there, and would be happy to know if there is anything I can do to make you feel at home.
As an aside: I am able to secure accommodations for us (in Berlin or elsewhere) if you know you’d still like to meet. Please see this part of my rates for more information, and let us discuss how I can make our engagement streamlined and simple for you.
This question originally appeared on the about us page.
Absolutely. I am a touch more selective with these scenarios, though. As with all of my engagements I do not simply accept every offer that comes my way, and I like to have a chance to develop a genuine rapport with someone I like and trust – even when there is more than one someone involved.
It’s been a long time since I was a gold star homosexual, and I find chemistry and comfort to be far bigger influences than gender or gender identity. I consider myself a consent-focused provider, and you can read more about that in my Ethics statement.
This question originally appeared on the about us page.
I am a professional elite companion and male escort, and what I offer is merely my time. I do not sell, contract, or offer sexual activities in exchange for money. My goals are to make our relationship memorable, stimulating, and authentic. I want to develop a genuine connection from which we look forward to seeing one another again and again. All with the promise that I won’t ever ask more of you than you can offer.
I am glad and excited to be with you at your convenience but will not bring along the expectations and demands of a typical boyfriend. My job is to be here when you want and absent when you’re through.
This question originally appeared on the about us page.
The short answer is no.
The long answer is no, because there are lots of reasons—some very serious—for gay and straight escorts employing performer aliases. We live in an age where the social repercussions for sex workers are still grossly outsized in comparison with any other type of legitimate work. Without protection for their government names and identifying information, male and female escorts can be subject to termination from vanilla jobs, evicted from their homes and denied new rentals, and subject to violence or harassment from law enforcement, people in their immediate community, and online. For further reading on these topics, please consult literally any newspaper.
For the purposes of your relationship with a companion, the name you have been told is their real name. Maintaining this is not a question of your trustworthiness, is not designed to deceive or misrepresent, and ultimately has nothing at all to do with you.
Respecting this necessary protective measure demonstrates respect, and is just good and kind behavior.
This question originally appeared on the about us page.
I do not have any public reviews hosted or posted with my consent, no. I’m pleased to share some selected testimonials from insistent friends, but please note that testimonials and escort reviews are never expected or required.
I find escort reviews (for any escorts, really) to be problematic on a number of levels, and prefer to earn my reputation one experience at a time. The practice of revealing private or intimate details in a public forum is not one I am fond of. I believe it compromises the discretion assumed in the relationship I hope we’re going to have.
You will never find a single mention of what transpires between you and I on my website, my blog, or on any of my social media presences. I don’t ‘talk shop’ about clients with others, and believe outing someone to be the one of the lowest acts one can commit with such privileged information. This works in two directions, as far as I am concerned.
This question originally appeared on the about us page.
No.
And you don’t need to disclose to me about it if you don’t feel safe doing so. My hope is that you will feel safe with me, but I don’t require any kind of disclaimer about who you are and what you believe your limitations are in the eyes of others. If you have ever been told by a provider that you are not worth their time because of your gender or race (or any physical characteristic), you should know that was a garbage person unworthy of your interest in the first place.
I find a wide and deep breadth of things and traits to be attractive and have no interest in limiting myself and my enjoyment by ruling out whole swaths of unique individuals.
This question originally appeared on the first time page.
In just a few words, it is a framework or agreement between a client and escort that guides their interaction toward an ideal interpersonal relationship. It may provide clear roles for each participant (the boyfriend, and the partner), and rules (who pays for dinner?) or boundaries (what’s off the table and when does no mean no?) may be drawn up before an initial meeting.
This question originally appeared on the boyfriend experience.
This is potentially a great way to think about or imagine a fantasy boyfriend experience. Consider what you might anticipate in a traditional boyfriend-type relationship. What would you expect? Endless consideration no matter how their day way going? What would you demand? Dinners out and flowers every day? What could a weekend of fantasy bring you that everyday life might not?
This question originally appeared on the boyfriend experience.
There are lots of sites online today which feature male escorts: Rentmen, Hunqz, and Mintboys make up the bulk of the male-oriented escort directories. But higher end male providers may also be found on sites like Slixa and Eros.
You will need to do some research in order to find someone you feel you could have a rapport with and who will be respectful of your wants and boundaries. As with any professional service, not every provider is right for every client. Key signals someone takes their work seriously include established and well-connected social media presences, thoughtful websites, and professionally photographed images.
If there is no one that piques your interest in your hometown, consider making a Fly Me To You plan with a male escort who does. These arrangements are quite standard and reputable providers will work hard to make sure any fears are allayed. You can find out about travel or Fly Me To You setups here.
This question originally appeared on the boyfriend experience.
Men aren’t usually conditioned to believe that their emotional needs have value and deserve to be attended. It can be a far greater challenge for men to ask directly for what they need from a provider, and many feel much more comfortable insisting on sexual engagement as a substitute for emotional engagement.
But the truth is we all have needs. We all feel loneliness and isolation, we all feel misunderstood and undervalued. These are natural experiences.
Ideally, an escort with boyfriend experience will strive to address someone’s needs without spelling them out explicitly or making anyone feel uncomfortable. If ever I can help you to feel more comfortable talking about how you’re feeling, it is my deepest wish that you will say so.
This question originally appeared on the boyfriend experience.
Any time you find yourself far away from someone you’d like to meet, a Fly Me To You agreement is usually possible. For a male travel escort like myself, these arrangements are all-inclusive: my rate includes my airfare and car services, and rather than worrying about booking flights or Ubers for me, all you’ll need to do is sit back and await my arrival.
This question originally appeared on the Fly Me To You rates page.
For me, it is not. I am always happy to secure an upscale and comfortable hotel or furnished apartment in the destination city at your request, though. This is a streamlined way to maintain your personal privacy, keeping your name and credit card information well separated from our meeting.
By contrast, I’m also very happy to meet you at your hotel or vacation bungalow, should you prefer to make specific arrangements yourself. Travel to private residences is offered to familiar friends.
This question originally appeared on the Fly Me To You rates page.
As stated in my rates, I abhor clock watching and being responsible for ringing a bell of some kind when our time is at an end. Unclocked sessions like mine result in an organic-feeling beginning and ending, free from rushing and countdowns; longer moments to linger and to wonder.
This question originally appeared on the Fly Me To You rates page.
Only if that’s what you really want.
I am quite expert in building in some alone time for each of us, particularly on longer adventures, and ones where we will be sharing accommodation. This can take the form of gym time, work and work email time, or just a quiet read or wander alone to process what we’ve been experiencing. We will discuss these types of boundaries and breaks in detail when we’re ready to make plans.
This question originally appeared on the Fly Me To You rates page.
The short answer is yes.
The long answer is yes, but only for people who are concerned about protecting the privacy and defending their right to maintain that privacy. WhatsApp is owned and operated by Facebook, which tracks metadata between WhatsApp and Facebook and Instagram (as well as many other apps you use on your phone), collects location data, and identifying meta information. WhatsApp reserves the right to maintain that collected data for as long as it deems relevant (i.e. forever).
Because I know you’re a privacy lover like me, Telegram is a far better choice than WhatsApp or texting.
Super privacy lovers: I’m glad to share unpublished Signal and Wire info by request. Drop me a line and let me know your preference.
This question originally appeared on the How to Use Telegram Guide.
Telegram will ask you to connect to your contacts when you first install it. Always say no. After your account is set up, navigate to Settings > Privacy and Security, and ensure these options are all to your liking. As a failsafe, I recommend using the “Automatically Delete My Account” function, set to 6 or 12 months. That way, if anything happens, your account will take care of itself, rather than lingering. You can always make a new one later.
This question originally appeared on the How to Use Telegram Guide.
Channels, no.
Groups, yes.
I maintain a private Telegram Channel with a restricted group of subscribers (scroll down if you are interested in joining, once all your questions are answered). No one in my channel can see or interact with any other subscriber. Hence, private.
In Telegram Groups you should expect a function like any group texting: all users can see who is present, and anyone can chat. I do not prefer to use Groups, but you will have to decide what’s best for you.
This question originally appeared on the How to Use Telegram Guide.
Telegram is an encrypted messaging app. Because many people do not understand what encryption or data privacy really mean—or what their rights to those things are—there is naturally a lot of bad talk. People associate a service or platform with high profile users who make trouble. These users take advantage of the privacy granted by the platform
The average person looking to stay safe and discreet in private matters is who I’m speaking to in this guide. For more information about information security and other ways to protect yourself, check out my guide to security.
This question originally appeared on the How to Use Telegram Guide.
Yes.
Secret Chats (the only kind we’ll be using) are untraceable and encrypted from your device to mine. We can even set a self-destruct timer to remove anything we don’t want to worry about later. That timer will remove the chats from both our devices permanently.
This question originally appeared on the How to Use Telegram Guide.
