At the end of 2020 | International Gay Male Escort in Toronto
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At the end of 2020

Here at the end of 2020

 

 

Tyler the Badwolf, Holiday, Christmas, New Year, PhotoI don’t know what I can really say about this last year that would be unique, or shed any light on things we don’t already know about our collective experience. What I do know is that I am grateful you have stuck with me. Believe it or not, it is a great comfort to see that people read and click my messages, and even more so when you take the time to write something personal back. It gives me comfort and reminds me that these connections aren’t just in my mind—you’re real and you’re really out there.

I wanted to do or make something for you as a thank you and I thought about doing new photos or a video, writing something, or drawing something. But I couldn’t come up with anything that felt appropriate in the shadow of this preposterous last year. Every idea felt small and insignificant and narcissistic.

Instead, I opted to share a poem that is deeply personal to me. My mom has had a challenging time this last year; she lost her job and has withdrawn from social situations and connections (it is obvious how much I am her child in times like these); she is very afraid of being sick, and I know it is hard for her to be away from her children. I feel very far away from her this Christmas and all the FaceTimes and texts do little to really set that right.

Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata is a text that my mom used to read to my sister and I when I was little. Like The Giving Tree and other stories with layers I couldn’t yet understand, this poem usually made her tear up and seemed like it was important in ways I didn’t really get. I wouldn’t get it for a long time.

At the end of this year, I see meaning and power in these words, and I think they are worth revisiting. I hope you will listen and that you will find the comfort that I find in this small collection of ideas. “No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should…”

 

 

 

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and a happy season and new year. Things will be different in 2021. We can’t know if they will be better, but I suspect they might be. Either way, I’ll be here to share in them whenever you’re ready.

 

-t

 

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Them to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful.

Strive to be happy.

 

Copyright 1952,  Max Ehrmann

 

Music used is Copyright 2015, Will Bangs. It is used with permission under the Creative Commons License.

 

You can download this audio as an MP3 by right clicking here, and selecting “Save Link As.”

 

Tyler the Badwolf

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